Nigel David Pelvin

My dear Nige, I wish we had more time. I regret not calling, not showing up, not pushing past the noise. I held onto this quiet, foolish hope that you would just beat it, that the storm would pass and we could pick up where we left off. Respecting your privacy too much kept me at a distance, foolishly believing there would always be a next week. Back when you first joined my academy and Rocky was still a toddler, you came down to an interclub competition at HQ. It was one of the first times we hung out away from the group, and it was cool to see the quiet, obsessive passion you had for this strange martial art of ours. I was still a white belt. You were a blue belt, built like iron and completely dialed in, moving as if you spent every waking hour quietly drilling moves. Eventually, life and physical ailments took their toll on both of us. You stepped away from training and shifted your universe to where it belonged: your boys and Ate Debbie. You always showed up for your family, without fail, and despite the distance between you, there is no doubt in my mind how proud your parents are of the man you became. Looking back through our old text messages, I see years of us trying to drag you back. Luckily for everyone, you finally gave in. Fast forward, and suddenly you were over at Carlos’ gym. Not only were you back, but you were teaching classes yourself, earned your purple belt, and were competing again. Learning that a man as private and stoic as you step up to lead a room and share what you knew was incredible to see. Around that same time, seeing how genuinely excited you were about your new software career was amazing to watch. You were truly thriving. You texted me once to thank me for pushing you to return to the mats, but the truth is, I felt honored just to have played a small part in your journey. The first time I saw you after the diagnosis, we shot those family photos. You had already been through surgeries, but the fight, the optimism, and the grit in your eyes were unwavering. Watching you run around the playground with the boys telling me the made up rules, and seeing the thoughtful, silent, yet indubitable way you loved Ate Debbie, it moved me deeply. That is what a real man looks like. That is what a father and a husband should be. Mark Twain once wrote that we should live so that when we die, even the undertaker will be sorry. You lived that truth quietly every single day. I wish your battles had stayed on the mat. I wish we were sitting in a smoky backyard right now with cold beers and meat on the grill, watching our tribe grow bigger while the goodbyes at the end of the night took forever to say. The relentless grind of daily life always stole the extra text, the late-night conversation, the time we should have taken. I cannot get those moments back, and I am deeply sorry. Until we roll again, brother. Don

Kuya Nigel was a genuinely kind and thoughtful man who touched the lives of everyone who had the pleasure of knowing him. He was one of those rare people who made others feel valued and cared for simply by being himself. He was a devoted husband and an incredible father to his boys. He was a wonderful role model, and the values he lived by will continue to shine through those he loved most. Kuya Nigel was the best of us. It has been a true honour to have had him as part of our family. His kindness, humility, generosity, resilience, and fierce strength will never be forgotten. He also had a wonderful wit and a great sense of humour. His ability to make people laugh, to bring lightness to a moment, and to share a smile with those around him was something that made him truly special. Words cannot fully express how deeply he will be missed, but we take comfort in knowing that his love, spirit and legacy will live on through his boys and Ate Debbie. Kuya Nigel, thank you for everything you gave to all of us. It has been an absolute privilege to have known you, and you will remain in our hearts forever. May you rest in peace.

To Nige’s entire family- I know this loss is just too great to bear. He was rare- a man with incredible kindness and integrity. He understood what was important in life and set an example to us all. He managed to do all of this without saying one negative thing about another person and what amazed me the most is how he thought of everyone’s feelings… not just people he knew but even people he had never met. I can see him in his two wonderful boys and I know they will do him proud. Debbie- it goes without saying- we’re here for you and the boys and will do everything we can to make this journey that little bit easier for you, Rocky & Roman. Lots of love to you all.

Dear Rocky and Roman , We would like you to know what kind of man your father was through our eyes, through the eyes of his training partners and the people who had the privilege of calling your father their friend. Nigel was a strong dude, on jiu-jitsu mats he demolished bullies who needed humbling, and was kind enough to offer them advice after. In the locker rooms, he was one of the boys, with a great sense of humour. His authenticity and quiet self belief made people gravitate towards him and command respect. But no one truly knows themselves until they face a challenging battle. Nigel showed us what true grit looks like and taught us many lessons along the way that we will never forget. We are going to miss him so much, and we want you to know that your dad was incredibly proud of you and loved you very much. Khaliun

Dear Debbie, Rocky and Roman! Lorna and Graham! Megan and Bevan with families! I'd like to join you in celebrating our dear friend, Nige! I didn't know him for long. We met on jiu-jitsu mats three years ago. For better or worse, I quickly learnt about his outstanding jiu-jitsu skills and his unbelievable strength. He kicked our behind constantly and made it look easy. How is this skinny guy controlling us like marionettes? Soon after, in the changing room, I learnt about his other traits: honesty, sharp wit, and a disarming sense of humour. And - of course - his great selection of Metallica t-shirts! These became the foundation of our friendship. Once I got to know him better, I noticed what a great listener he was, and how he would say little, but always straight to the point, wise words that stayed with me. I'd like to join you in the sadness of losing him, but at the same time I'm grateful that I was lucky enough our lives' paths crossed and I could call Nigel "my friend"! Love, Rafal

Nigel a loving husband to Debbie and an admirable devoted father to Rocky and Roman. His love, kindness, and strength were the foundation of his family, and his memory will live on in the hearts of all who knew and loved him. Deeply missed and he will never be forgotten. Nigel most humblest of men remembering his times at the many parties, with Debbie saying long good-byes and Nigel patiently waiting. Devoted to Rocky and Roman would even take the boys home when tired to allow Debbie to continue with the party. The time that Debbie got Nigel a ticket to Pearl Jam in Hyde Park was one memory that has stayed, as usual Nigel was generally taking in the experience, but that one night he was full of excitement. He mentioned how Debbie made one of his bucket lists come true after missing Pearl Jam in New Zealand. Nigel has given Rocky & Roman the greatest foundation to being loved, being confident, kind and sincere young men. You all have a wealth of love and support from family and friends who will always be there for you. Mila & Matt

Debs has always been our carefree, free-spirited friend with a love of travel and adventure. She lived life with such joy and freedom that none of us ever imagined anyone could tie her down. But then along came Nige... and he did. I still remember their wedding day so clearly. My family and I had the privilege of sharing that special day with them and witnessing the incredible love they had for one another. It was a very windy day, but somehow that only made it more beautiful. Surrounded by the people they loved, they looked so happy. The way they looked at each other said everything—you could see the love in their eyes, and there was never any doubt that they were meant to be together. Then came their greatest pride and joy, Rockstar and Roman. Nige was first and foremost a devoted family man. He taught his boys to live life to the fullest, to laugh often, and to love deeply. He shared with them his passion for jiu-jitsu, creating memories and lessons that they will carry with them forever. The love and pride he had for his boys shone through in everything he did. Nige, I hope you know that Debs and the boys will never be alone. We will be there to love them, support them, and help them in any way we can, just as you would have wanted. We will keep your memory alive through the stories we share, the laughter we remember, and the love you leave behind. You will be so deeply missed, but you will never, ever be forgotten. RIP Love Elisa, Jon & Girls

I’m going to keep this short and sweet and straight to the point like Nige would have. I had the privilege of knowing Nige because he married my best friend, and like all best friends, you only want the best for yours. Debbie did indeed marry one of the best.  I was maid of honour at their wedding in Greece. The ceremony was held in an amphitheatre and the bridesmaids walked down the steps to ‘Love on Top’. Their ceremony reflected them as a couple, unique with their own chosen readings like Kahlil Gibran’s poem On Marriage. Deb was so eager to walk down the aisle she wanted and get down to Nige that I think everyone could hear me saying ‘not yet, not yet, slow down, the others haven’t got to their places yet!’.  From their funny and unconventional first meeting - to the way Nige looked at Debbie on their wedding… their love for each other made me believe in love again. Even today, seeing how devoted Debbie has been reminds us that true love still exists.  Lorna, Graham, Megan and Bevan… it’s no wonder Nigel was such a kind, caring, standup guy having come from such a beautiful and caring family like yours.  Deb, Rocky, and Roman - when you’re ready, come home to London. We love you and we’ll be waiting for you. So Nige, I wish I got to say goodbye before you left and sorry that I didn’t. I hope there’s a good BJJ place wherever you are. Rest easy, Nige… you gave it your all ✨ Sheryll

Nigel is one of those guys that slips into your life and makes a mark that stays with you. I meet Nigel along time ago in Dunedin, introduced through friends of friends on the piss. I remember it being abit slow to get him to open up at first as he was a pretty calculated man, fairly opposite to myself who would talk to anyone, anywhere. But once he got settled, boy did we have some great times. Cars n booze, party's and destruction, Loud music, hooting and a hollering. As the years went by Nigel tried his hand at many a thing (career wise) and I remember him meeting a very special lady ( that would be Debs ) he was very taken by her and spent his time building a deep relationship and spending quite a bit of time in Queenstown and visiting her family in the UK. I moved to Australia 2010 for a while, then can home with a buggered back. I ended up doing a fine arts degree and in the first year 2011 moved in to a wee flat above a pie shop oppiste the skate park and in the industrial zone in Dunedin. At this time Nigel was taking up a business course and doing product sales from our place. We had one room full of boxes and packages that were coming and going constantly and during this he was also doing personal training, lots of BJJ. This is where I employed Nigel to help me with my back, he set me up a training program and routine. We had a great time sparing, lift weights and chatting shit. He helped me so much and had such a calm and positive demeanor and I though man this guy's so composed. And then after maybe half a year we got Deb to come live with us too. I remember having to write a letter to support the validity of their relationship, which i was rather fired up about the goverment questioning this. Because I could see two people who where so in love and cared so deeply for one and another. So after we finished up the year Nigel and Debs did there thing, I did mine, they moved to London and started there faimly. I caught up with them when ever they where back in town and keept intouch via various messaging services throughout the years. It wasnt until 2019 I got to go traveling and see where Nige and Debs made home with there sons. I Spent a couple of weeks there give up one of there rooms to me and making me feel most welcome it the flat. We visited sites, took photos, ate great food, had a few beers and went to a couple of local football games. I had such a great time and will never forget those moments and the love and generosity from the whole family. To Rocky and Rome, you guys are amazing and talented boy with the world ahead of you. Your dad love you to bits and was so proud of the boys your are becoming. Debs you were a rock for Nigel in the time he got his diagnosis, you have been there for him every step and i could not have wish for thing more for him under the circumstances. And Bevan, you did so much for him and the efforts you made to be there and support him are unmatched. The best brother anyone could have asked for. The back and forth to England and staying by his side while he slowly slip away. My heart is aching for you all and wish the story could have a such different ending. My love goes out to you all. God speed Nige, rest easy you beautiful human. FHDW XX

Hi Debbie and children We are so sorry that Nigel left this world. I feels like it was yesterday that we all went to chessington to celebrate the kids end of year and it was such a fun day ❤️ There are no words that will help to ease the pain I know, but you need to be certain that we are all here to support you and the kids - don’t think you are alone. Nigel will be looking after you guys from whenever he will be , he will be there ❤️ Lots of love from Rute, Ric, Thomas and Alice

I will remember Nigel not only as a great coach but an even better friend. You taught me far more than jiu jitsu—you taught me discipline, humility, resilience, and the value of supporting those around us. Your guidance on the mats and your kindness off them made a lasting impact on so many lives. It was an honor to train with you, learn from you, and call you my friend. You will be deeply missed, but your legacy will live on in every session you shared and every life you touched. Sending prayers and strength to your family at this sad time, rest in peace.

Hi Debbie, We are deeply sorry to hear this heartbreaking news. I had the privilege of training Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu with Nigel for the past three and a half years. He was such a humble, kind, honest, and genuinely lovely person who was respected and appreciated by everyone at the club. He always brought a positive attitude to training, and it was an honour to know him and call him a friend. Please pass on our heartfelt condolences to kids and the whole family. Our thoughts are with you all during this incredibly difficult time. Nigel will be greatly missed, and we will always remember him with warmth and respect. Rest in peace, my dear friend Nigel! Carlos and Zinmar